Sick and Tired (of being Sick and Tired)

I don't know about you, but I have never understood the difference between allergies and being sick. Yeah, I mean I get that they are different things, but I feel just as bad either way, so when people ask, "What's wrong? You don't look so good." I just say "It's allergies" and move on. Who knows if it actually is or not.

Regardless of if I am recovering from a cold, or it's just the change of the season, I feel like crap and I can't seem to get enough sleep. Which, for me, marks the official end of the summer vibes; enter in the fall season.

You guys, I LOVE fall. I love chilly weather that is cool enough to wear an over sized sweater, but warm enough that you don't need a coat. I love surrounding a bonfire with friends, telling stories, and singing songs. I love hot apple cider, mulled wine, and various spices (yes, that includes Pumpkin Spice). I love the changing of the leaves, and celebrating Harper's "Gotcha" Day. It is a special time of the year.

However, this year, I am approaching Fall with a bit of apprehension. Maybe it is because of my stage in life, or maybe it is because of the late start to summer here in the Chicago-land area, but I don't want summer to leave just yet. I had all of these plans and they disappeared into thin air and time.

I'm finding myself exhausted, more than usual. I had an interesting conversation with some friends last week, talking about introversion and extroversion. If you know me at all, you know what an extreme extrovert I am. I thought that because of my outgoing nature and the fact that I never really stop talking, that I was an extrovert, but it never crossed my mind that I actually got energy from other people.

In the interim between ministry positions, I have been given a position that I am insanely grateful for in an office. Primarily my work revolves around numbers and files, all done sitting at a desk with a computer. I can't begin to tell you how depleted I am when I get home. I might say a handful of sentences during the day, occasionally say "Hi" to some co-workers, or ask a few questions, but my interactions with others is significantly minimized from what I am used to. I had no idea that it would literally suck all of my energy from me during the day.

I guess with this season approaching, I have more questions than answers. Am I where I need to be? Am I who I want to be? Am I doing what I should be doing?

With all of those questions in my head, I am starting to nest in my spot. I am writing more, speaking more, crafting more. Let's see how long I can keep this apartment clean and focused on new habits instead of sinking into bed as my automatic.

This week, what are your new habits you want to start?

Cheers,

Sam Jo