Silence

Silence.

Please stop what you are doing and turn off whatever it is you have playing in the background. Take a few breaths. Is your mind somewhere else? What do you see around you? What do you hear? What do you feel? What can you smell….taste? If you are anything like me, you are wishing you were sitting with your dog in your lap with coffee in your hand. That is what my dream is-to start off every morning just sitting with my dog and sipping coffee, watching the sunrise.

I’ve always wondered if someone were to write the story of my life, what they would include. Would they cover the big moments, like when my brother was born, when I started a relationship with Christ, when my high school friend died, when my parents got cancer, when I was accepted to college…would they even bother to put down the blissful mornings I had the chance to sit with my dog and sip coffee and watch the sunrise?

Are we just made up of moments of action? Is what I accomplish (or don’t accomplish) all I am defined by? Are they the only things to take note of? Maybe I’m wrong…but aren’t the most formative times in silence? When we allow ourselves to sit with our dog? Sip coffee? Watch the sun rise?

If theatre taught me anything, it’s that words are the things driving the scene. It’s the silence and what you do with it.

My first time on a real stage, my director Mrs. Madalinski, had to walk me through step by step what to do in complete silence. I thought if I had no words, what was the point of me being on the stage at all? As I grew as an actor, silence became my weapon. “Hold your moment!” was repeatedly shouted at me by my acting coach and mentor, Miss O. You see, silence allowed the words and actions to sink it; to make it all mean something. Silence allowed for a response. Silence allowed trust to be gained and emotion to be felt. Silence gave a voice to what could not be said.

Hagar is one of my favorite women in the Bible. Her story is that of total reliance on God. What an intimacy to share with our Creator…We see it in Genesis 16:13 “She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: ‘You are the God who sees me,’ for she said, ‘I have now seen the One who sees me.’” (Gen. 16:13 NIV). However, we don’t get her whole story. Hagar doesn’t even speak until she flees and is found by an angel of God in the desert. There are blank spaces where our minds can only wonder what happened. The power and grace of God is seen with her and then her story just stops. Her and her story go silent. Why? Why must our information be stopped there? Hers isn’t the only story that cuts out abruptly. We see it repeatedly throughout the Old and New Testament…

Might I be so bold to ask you to look at a story which the character is silenced. In this, take time to look at their interaction with God previous to their silence. What was it like? What was their purpose? See what might have happened after their silence from the information you already know. How did they interact with God from then on? What needed to be said through the silence? What more from their narrative can we learn without words or actions?

For now, I am going to focus on getting home so that in the morning, I can sit with my dog, sip coffee and watch the sunrise; bringing light into my apartment, giving me the early morning peace that other hours cannot. This silent interaction with God of just breath and light keeps me going. What will silence do for you?

photo credit from Jarrod Cooper's blog